I felt like I was drowning, further and further into the depths of darkness with each update coming out from the Christchurch shootings. I know I was not the only one who felt this way. Sadly, we Muslim have become accustomed to this.
The grief comes in waves, crashing down onto whatever life you have tried to create for yourself. But most times in retreats to the shore, waiting, creeping from a distance.
In the last few weeks it feels like the waves have been relentless, and now we are drowning. There is no distinction between land and sea, stability and instability. There is no seashore to stand on anymore. Just the depth of the ocean, sucking us in and swallowing us whole.
To the outside world we may look like a people at loss, and in many ways we are. We’ve lost our lives, our homes, and our worth as humans in many peoples eyes. But we are never losers, because the crazy thing about being Muslim is that you can never lose when you worship Allah.
Everyone is afraid of losing something in this world- our wealth, our health, our lives. But we Muslims are different, we understand our losses and gains beyond this material world.
Allah assured us that those who die in His path will be granted Jannah.
Allah assured us that the dua of the oppressed would always be answered.
Allah assured us that justice will be served either in this life or the afterlife.
Allah assured us that we will be rewarded for staying true to the path of worshipping Him, no matter how hard it gets.
The way our community has dealt with tragedy after tragedy reminds me of all these things. Yes, we mourn and our hearts bleed, but we are also incredibly at peace with what has been written for us. We are resilient in the face of it all. We still show up, day after day, praying at work, wearing hijab, upholding our responsibilities and rights to one another. This is what belief in Allah does. It inspires hope, defiance and confidence in us.
There is no way you can lose when you worship Allah, you only ever win, and that makes me feel indestructible in situations where otherwise I’d be crumbling into pieces.
So I thank Allah for Islam, for equipping believers with a a way of life that’s literally out of this world. I’m so grateful that Allah chose me to be Muslim, because when I’m scared or feel small I will always find strength in Him. Amidst the waves of turmoil and conflict He is our One constant.
وَلَا تَهِنُواْ وَلَا تَحۡزَنُواْ وَأَنتُمُ ٱلۡأَعۡلَوۡنَ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤۡمِنِينَ
So do not weaken and do not grieve, and you will be superior if you are [true] believers. Qur’an 3:139
I love you for the sake of Allah,
Anisa, aka your sis Nis